


Broken Morality

by UnlimitedSkullz



Category: Hataraku Maou-Sama! | The Devil Is a Part-Timer!
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 08:09:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17763017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnlimitedSkullz/pseuds/UnlimitedSkullz
Summary: Lucifer laments how he had never understood why people care so much about bonds.





	Broken Morality

**Author's Note:**

> Fu-rin: Hi everyone, this is the first time i wrote a fanfic so i don't know how well this'll turn out but i hope you enjoyed it

Lucifer can never understand why Lailah was so determined to defeat Ignora. Even before he remembered everything, he was always living in the present. It wasn’t always like this, he vaguely remembers a time where he did care about time, determined to remember each day as it passed, focused on making memories and bonds so he will have something to be nostalgic about as he reflects the past. But that ideal doesn’t last for long, somewhere along the line he no longer see memories as important. Maybe its because it is easy for memories to be forgotten after living so long, maybe because he lives for so long that making memories no longer seem important, ~~maybe because seeing the people he love die as he remain young and powerful is painful and its harder to lose someone you care about than it is to remain alone.~~ So he stopped caring and started to live on the moment. For lucifer who never cared about the past, tried to forget it, someone like Lailah and Gabriel who never seem to move on from the past, who used their past as the foundation of their actions, is something completely alien.

He hadn’t lied when Sasaki Chiho asked him whether he felt troubled about fighting Ignora, because lucifer never connected his emotions with the past. He acknowledged that Ignora is his mother, and Sataniel is his father. But he never seen that as anything but a fact, like stating a line from a book he heard. Not something he sees subjectively, but something he sees objectively.

Even after he remembered how cruel Ignora was to him or how much Sataniel cares for him, he never favours one or the other. He didn’t like Sataniel more than Ignora, ~~because admitting that he likes Sataniel would made it more painful for him to move on~~.

The same thing can be seen in how he views Satan Jacob. Unlike the other demon generals who followed Satan, he is not loyal to him. He listens to Satan as long as it is the most fun option, and if he no feel that Satan can no longer interest him ,he’ll kill him. He already tried killing him twice, and he will continue to do so if Satan will disappoint him later. Satan understood this, its why he will always accept lucifer back after he betrayed him, and only him. If it was Camio, or Alsiel, or Adramalech or anyone else, he wouldn’t be as understanding, because they had given him his loyalty and as such they will truly betray him, while Lucifer had openly stated from the beginning that he is not giving Satan his loyalty, he is only doing what he thinks is fun, and if following Satan is fun then that is what he’ll do. So in a way, Lucifer never really joined the demon king army, he is more like an unreliable ally that Satan has to appease every now and then.

Its why he didn’t bother to help Satan with the income of the house, because Lucifer only stayed there because it is fun, and it is Satan job to appease him and made sure he stayed. Alsiel never understood this, its why he let Alsiel get away with reprimanding him so much about being a good for nothing. Because while telling Satan off when he became annoying from restricting him is his right, doing the same thing to someone who doesn’t know the fineprint isn’t fair.

If Satan were to die, he might be upset that his favourite fun maker is gone and then move on. And after a few hundred years, he’ll forget how he looks and maybe even his entire existence. Because memories is insignificant to Lucifer, and he doesn’t have the will to try to preserve it, ~~because he wanted to forget and move on and stop hurting about what he had loss yet again~~.

He guarded his soul with an unmovable sense of apathy, so when someone actually wormed its way through it, it has taken him aback.

The realization didn’t came quickly. At first, he just feel like she’s interesting. And sometimes she will ask him to do something, to read her some stories, play horse, play the computer. And at first he would agree and do what she wanted him to do because that is what Satan wanted him to do, and doing small tasks such as this is a small payment if he get to witness the fun that Satan created.

But after time, he started to stop thinking about it being a payment, doing things she asked without needing to think about it, and by the end of it, when she smiled as he played along with his whims, he felt an unrecognizable warmth seep within his heart and a feeling of how the result is worth it. Somewhere along the way, she managed important enough to him that he started to act with his emotions.

But it wasn’t until alas-ramus told them that she missed malkuth and the others, that he suddenly became determined about fighting Ignora when he felt that following Lailah plan and fighting Ignora before was too troublesome and boring and just too much effort, that he realized that somewhere along the way, he began to care about alas-ramus, and that it is already too late to change anything about it. And then he started to feel fear, of how much it will hurt if alas-ramus died. And like a dam that finally reached its limit, all the emotions that he had been suppressing bled over and stung him.

Fear and loneliness, anger and hatred, loss , disgust, and so many more emotions that it is impossible to name it all…

Memories that used to be so vague and old suddenly seem so vivid and real, as if it has only happen a few days ago instead of thousands of year ago.

And somehow, it became harder for him not to care about others, the apathy that used to be so easy to wield before now felt as impossible to do as moving mountains.

He found himself to be amused by all of Satan actions instead of just Satan brand of defying common sense, to feel fond of Alsiel lectures instead of irritation and reluctant toleration of because I have to. He actively started conversations with Crestia Bell because he genuinely enjoy their discussions together, and even the Hero, who he used to see as a boring hypocrite is starting to be more and more tolerable.

And it wasn’t limited to the present bonds, he started remembering of the times about his parents, the good and the bad, how he used to call them mama and papa, and sometimes he accidentally slipped and called them that in his mind instead of Sataniel and Ignora. And then there are times where he got hurt because of them.

Sataniel was the worst to remember, it wasn’t that he was cruel or anything. He was kind and he was warm and he cared about Lucifer so much and Lucifer loved him. But Sataniel died, Lucifer had needed his papa and Sataniel left him alone because the demons also needed Sataniel and Sataniel decided to help the demons, nevermind that Lucifer also needed him.

And it hurts because to Lucifer, Sataniel was given two choices, and despite their closeness, he had chosen the demons over Lucifer. The demons are more important to Sataniel than Lucifer and that hurts more than anything. Because Lucifer loved him more than anything but Sataniel he was a second choice.

Then, there was Ignora…

Ignora experimenting him surprisingly hadn’t mattered that much to Lucifer, sure he resent her a bit for doing that, but a part of Lucifer had always acknowledged that life is just unfair and accepted that he was just the unlucky one. No, it wasn’t the fact that Ignora experimented on him that hurts him, it is when she treated him like he is not of the same blood of her, how Ignora never cared for him like a mother would, how she would talk to him as if he was a subordinate she was in charge of instead of her son. And worst of all is the times where she would pretend that she is his mother when she wanted something, being kind and motherly to convince him to help her with her experiments, to not tell papa about what she is doing, to bring her some unlucky ente islan for her experimentantions. And Lucifer knew that she was only pretending, that she didn’t care, but each time he hoped that she would finally see him as her son and did his job with unbelievable determination, only to be disappointed when she throw him like a trash once she got what she wanted. Because despite everything that Ignora had done to her, despite him knowing better, he still loved her.

And now that they had to face Ignora, Lucifer couldn’t help but think about what he would do if there is a time where he has to fight her. He loved Ignora, and he loved alas-ramus, and no matter how many times he thought about it, he cannot seem to decide who he will choose if he is required to choose a side. It felt like he is in an eternal tug-of-war, it happens back then when Ignora and Sataniel were fighting, and it happens now that ignora and alas-ramus are fighting, and he couldn’t help but wonder if he is always fated to be put on this situation.

Sometimes, Lucifer would resent alas-ramus a bit. Because if it wasn’t for her, then he wouldn’t have been so confused. ~~If it wasn’t for her, he would still be alone and uncaring, not understanding that he is suffering and tired and needed someone to latch on because he is losing his humanity, becoming but an empty shell~~.


End file.
